


Linger

by EowynRivers



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire, game of thrones
Genre: AU, F/M, alternative universe
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-10-24
Updated: 2014-04-23
Packaged: 2017-12-30 09:24:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 8
Words: 4,373
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1016930
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EowynRivers/pseuds/EowynRivers
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Peace at last in Westeros. Stannis, and Selyse, are King and Queen of the realm: to seal this fragile peace, an alliance between the North and the South is settled: Sansa Stark, seventeen, will marry Willas Tyrell, twenty-nine, the ceremony taking place in Riverrun.<br/>-Willas was as they had described, calm and kind. But is that really enough?</p><p>TW: FIRST PERSON | I know that some are allergic to the use of "I", BE WARNED</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Watching Lovers Part

**Author's Note:**

> This is a "pov only" chapter. The next one won't be pov, classic narrative and the one after "pov only" etc :)  
> "Linger" is a song by the Cranberries, the lyrics gave me the idea for this fic :)

**Stannis**

Have people ever seen me smile before today? I cannot let them think I am some ersatz of Robert, no, I will not lie to them. 

Now that my smile has faded away, they can see who their King is. I am not kind or...funny. But I do believe that I shall be just. I'll be the king they need, the one they deserve. 

Peace is fragile and the North and the South must show the realm their new alliance. Since Brandon Stark is bethroted to my daughter, Shireen, it will be his sister, Sansa. She will wed Willas Tyrell, the heir of the Reach. 

Selyse, beside me, doesn't smile either. She stays silent, her eyes staring at the crowd in front of us. We were never a perfect couple but she will be a decent queen. We shall rule this kingdom until our death free us from our duty. Our only design. 

The Stark girl and the Tyrell boy may not love each other but there can be so much more in a couple than _love._ One can find friendship, affection and an adviser in un anwanted match. But there is no time for foolish thoughts. Soon they'll put the crown on my head, and I will have to lead this shapeless mass of childish souls

**Edmure**

"Soon she will be here... You know Roslin, it will be the second time I see her, in my entire life."

"When was the first?"

"When she was...I'm not really sure...Two? Three? I don't remember."

She had been such a calm baby, so different than Catelyn, sleeping in the nursery. I like to think that Roslin and Sansa will get along well but...Her brother and her mother were slaughtered my her father...

"What are you doing Edmure? Don't you want to join me in the bed? You know, when Riverrun will be crowded by people coming for the wedding, we won't have a lot of time for us, if you know what I mean..."

"Oh, innocent woman... I _always_ know what you mean."

**Sansa**

I don't want to marry him. I don't want to marry Willas Tyrell. They had tried once, and I had ended up marrying Tyrion Lannister. They had told me he was nice and kind and calm and _boring._ I need calmness in my life, I know it, and yet, I need more than a _pretty knight in shining armor offering flowers..._ I need someone who can protect me, someone who will see me as I am: damaged and broken. How will he able to repair me? 

He won't. I'll have to take care of that myself. 

And they say the ceremony will take place at noon. But I don't wanna see the light, I want, I want a sunset and fresh air and rain. I don't want everything to be perfect... I can feel the tears falling from my eyes and running on my cheeks and yet I cannot believe that I am crying. 

No. Not anymore.

I might feel wounded inside, I cannot let them know, they would never understand... 

**Willas**

She will like me. Yes she will. I prayed so hard to the gods, waiting with fear this moment. What will I do if she doesn't like me?

What does she even know of me? Maybe some kind of cripple who does nothing but reading and looking at flowers all day long... I will prove her I am nothing of what they say. 

I will show her what hides in the heart of a man who suffered all his life.

**Sansa**

He is here now, before me, in his Tyrell green clothes. He looks taller and older than me. But not too old. He's neither better or worse than I expected. He is just, just a man, with a broken leg and a shy smile on his lips. If I was Arya I would have told him that I was the one supposed to be the shy maiden. But I'm not Arya, and I haven't smiled or laugh for what it seems an eternity. My uncle is beside him, smiling fiercely like his small wife. Roslin _Frey._ I don't even have the courage to be mad at her or at her family. I am so so tired of this pointless life. _Make it end_... My last prayer

 


	2. Don't let it burn, don't let it fade

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is a "classic narrative" chapter :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Like I love putting music in my fic...  
> The first one is at the beginning http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NJ9xqBsROBQ  
> And at the end http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m0IiPwwdw4I&list=PLSJm1V-GFyJ2O5aQRnBeO67WqpfexxXly&index=11

They had given Sansa a grey dress, with long sleeves and fur around the neck. Her hair was loose, falling on her shoulders. Neither Willas nor Sansa were smiling. No one in the sept did. Edmure looked worried, Roslin was desperately trying to make Catelyn quiet and Garlan and Leonette were staring at the ground, knowing they were attending the saddest wedding they had ever seen. 

And yet daylight was blinding them all.

* * *
    
    
      _There was once a young girl,
    noble of heart,
    charming and pretty
    and of great worth,
    against her will
    she was made a silent sister;
    this doesn't please her at all,
    so she lives in great pain._
    

Two young girls were singing this sad melody, echoing in Sansa's heart. _They have made me a silent sister, forced to smile and please. Forced to watch my world falling apart without saying a word. And tonight I will be the wife of a man I know nothing about. Yes he was handsome and if...if my life had been a quiet river, I would have loved this man, with his smile and his gentle manners. But my life was never peaceful and I will never love him. One day I might appreciate him but love? How can one love without a heart?_

Next to her, her husband was staring at his glass of wine. He had no desire to get drunk on his wedding night, but oddly enough his leg was hurting more than usual. He knew what it meant: a very uncomfortable wedding night. 

He was now looking at his wife, in her beautiful silver dress, matching perfectly with her red hair. She was beautiful. _If one day I make her smile, we will be the most beautiful couple the realm would have ever seen._

But many had tried to make her smile and they had won nothing but the deep knowledge that nothing, yes nothing, would make her smile but the recollection of the past.

"Time to bed them!!!" 

"Please Edmure stop! You're embarrassing yourself!"

"Shhhhh... Who is speaking? Are you my lady a lake on a summer night so that I drown myself in your soft eyes? There is no sweeter way to die!"

"Edmure stop. Now."

"Quiet woman! It's time for the young lovers to make this wedding a legit one! Ladies, take off his clothes!"

Roslin was staring at her husband with the same look she had when Catelyn was being a very annoying baby.

"What, dear wife, what did I say AGAIN?"

"You will never again call me "woman!" in front of people. Never. I am going to sleep now. Please don't follow me." Roslin was speaking very slowly with her usual high voice. 

* * *

"You can, you can remove your dress. If you want to of course! I do not wish to force you."

Sansa quickly removed her dress, getting rid of that absurd piece of cloth. _I have nothing left but my body. Let's get rid of that too._

"I do not fear pain, my lord husband. You do not have to lie to comfort me."

"And I only desire to tell you the truth my lady. Please, follow me in the bed. It is time for us to do our duty."

They were not smiling, speaking so seriously. 

The moonlight was allowing Willas to see through Sansa's thin shirt. She was beautiful, there was no doubt, and yet she was not a woman, only a young girl you find beautiful from afar but would never consider inviting to your bed.

"Listen. I like the music." For the first time of the day Sansa appeared fascinated by something. She was standing still, her eyes staring at the wall, where the music came from.

 _Are you going to Scarborough Fair?_ She slowly removed her shirt, revealing her naked skin to Willas's eyes.  _Parsley, sage, rosemary and thyme,_ Following her he sat on the bed not to hurt his leg and removed his clothes.  _Remember me to one who lives there,_ They were now in the bed, trying to avoid each other's eyes, trying to hide, not their body, but their faces.  _She once was a true love of mine._ For who would like to spend their wedding night with a corpse?

* * *

Sansa Stark and Willas Tyrell. The names sounded pleasant together. They were beautiful laying next to each other. And still when their "duty" had been done, the bloodied sheets, the tears in Sansa's eyes, and the regretful look of Willas could not announce much more but a cold, sad and loveless match. 
    
    
      _There was once a young girl,
    noble of heart,
    charming and pretty
    and of great worth,
    against her will
    she was made a silent sister;
    this doesn't please her at all,
    so she lives in great pain._
    

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please please please tell me what you think of it :)


	3. As a lily among thorns

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> POV - Title from the Song of Songs

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As usual, some songs reference  
> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TpZYctXCBdY

**Sansa**

No he wasn't violent. He was gentle, as they had said. And maybe it was what made things worse. He wanted so hard not to hurt me that he forgot I was there. I was no longer a human being he could share this moment with, I was no one. He closed his eyes. Didn't he want to see me? I wouldn't have wanted to see me neither. And yet I watched his face contort, his mouth and his teeth kept tight not to scream. But I was the one who had to scream, wasn't I? 

Then when he was finished, he laid down beside me, forgetting I was there, giving up on life in a sleep softer than death. 

And for the second time of the day I cried. I wished... If only he had asked me about my feelings, about my tastes, why I wanted to listen to the music... But instead he did what he was supposed to do: he was the quiet man, the one who doesn't ask or wonder, who wishes no harm to anyone, thinking only about my physical pain. Unaware of my hatred for the gloves people put on when they want to lie.

If we cannot be lovers, what will we be? Friends? 

They ripped me out of Winterfell. Teared me apart from Bran, Arya and Rickon to make me marry him. How could we ever be friends?

**Willas**

The gardens of Riverrun were maybe not as beautiful as the gardens of Highgarden but they has this persistent and tender smell of freshwater that could soothe any man's heart. 

Well.

Maybe not any _woman._

She was beside me, walking in the garden of Riverrun, before our departure in the afternoon. 

"I believe you will enjoy Highgarden. It's a magnificient place, you'll see. And we'll be alone the first week: the rest of the family visiting the Hightowers. Garlan will join us with Leonette later."

"Do you play music?"

I wasn't expecting such a question, but what could I expect from her?

"I do."

She stopped walking.

"You do?"

"Yes, do you?"

"I learnt to play viola, two years ago. It, it has been since a great source of soothing."

"I play viola too. There is in Highgarden a very small room where I enjoy playing viola, with a view on the garden. It's pretty dark but if one wants to find peace it is the ideal place."

"I like dark and small rooms."

She was close to me, now. 

And I was smiling. I believe she was too. 

**Sansa**

"M'lord we will stop here for the night. It's a small inn, but they will give you and Lady Sansa the best room they have!"

The road had been very tiring, but caught under the heavy furs, it reminded me of Winterfell. How warm! How pleasant!

Willas with his broken leg, had decided to stay with me during the trip. Oddly enough, when I woke up, my head was on his shoulder.

"Are you hungry?"

"No, I ate enough on the road."

I just want to be once again in a bed with furs, and a fire, and sleep, sleep, sleep...

"Well then let's go to sleep!"

"Oh wait Willas... Can we take the small package I have left behind?"

"Well... Of course. Anything you want."

"Thank you."

They hadn't put furs on the bed. I was freezind and shivering from the cold. 

Willas too. 

"Do you want me to go and ask for furs?"

"No, no... Don't bother..."

Then I felt his fingers on my shoulders. He wanted to warm but didn't know if he could. _Always gentle Willas Tyrell._

"Please do."

He took me in his arms and kept me tight all night.

I had forgotten what it felt like. Another human being _touching_ me. 

It felt like heaven. 

I don't want him to leave my body, ever. I want him to stay next to me, protecting me from the cold, protecting me from this suicidal loneliness I inflict to myself.
    
    
      _A pretty nymph
    was sleeping on a green meadow
    richly adorned
    with many flowers._
        
    _The sweet sleep_
        
    _of this creature_
        
    _vanquished even nature
    in beauty, I thought._
    


	4. Chaos philosophy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So you will find in the chapter two of those things " * "  
> When you see the first one you have to listen to this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lUjY8MveRwE  
> When you see the second one you have to listen to this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v_kPcArH02s
> 
> Hope you enjoy it :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So you will find in the chapter two of those things " * "  
> When you see the first one you have to listen to this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lUjY8MveRwE  
> When you see the second one you have to listen to this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v_kPcArH02s
> 
> Hope you enjoy it :)

It was raining outside. Not a stormy rain, but an autumn one, when the water drops fall on the red leaves of trees. There was no one outside, or inside the castle. They had all disappeared. Only remained Sansa and Willas in his cabinet, the large windows offering them the view of the wet roses and the dancing leaves of weeping willows. Willas was teaching Sansa how to play viola. She had learnt how to play music, but Willas wanted her to be a musician, someone who could take an instrument and make it the source of melodious sounds, so beautiful one could feel them in every inch of his body and control every of his moves.

"No. Again."

He was calm and quiet. But he was serious and strict too.

"Your fingers."

And she was playing, always playing, thinking only about the music. _Not good enough._

"Stop. And listen" *

His hands wandered on the viola for a while. He played, softly at first, a melody she had never heard. The rhythm got faster, his eyes always staring at his own hands, ordering them to produce the most beautiful sound in the world. When he had played his last note Sansa understood. He was a musician. 

"How?" asked she

"Discipline. If you listen to me, if you do what I ask, you will, one day, be a musician. Discipline."

"Whatever it takes. I want to, like you do, take an instrument, and make it mine. Making it saying for me, my deepest emotions."

"You will. I promise."

She was wearing a light dress, and yet it seemed still to heavy for her. She needed space, more space to let her move her arms, the way she wanted _. Playing a music is physical,_ thought she. 

They just played and played for an hour, maybe two. 

"Stop, stop..."

"Why? Am I not doing it right, I thought..."

"No, no, no. It's not you. It's your rhythm."

He let the viola, stood up and took her arm.

"What are you going to do?"

"Play the one for the Braavosi Ceremony please" * 

"Yes."

She took the instrument and started playing. Willas, in front of her, raised his hands and began to make his fingers dance at the rhythm of the music. The fingers moved, one by one, until the hand and the arm joined them. His face so still and serious he kept dancing with his arms, and hands and fingers, and his leg. One step, two steps, three steps, raising hands. He suffered, yes, but he wanted her to understand. 

Always following the rhythm. 

"You see Sansa, it's the rhythm which will give the music you play, harmony. And without harmony, you cannot call it music. I will teach you, Sansa, harmony and rhyhtm."

"I would do anything to learn it."

He laughed. "Haha, would you?"

"Yes."

"If you insist, my sweet wife, I will teach you how to make music, the way I was taught."

"Who taught you?"

"A woman. She was older than me. She taught me the subtility of music, of emotions, she taught me to touch a viola as you touch your lover's body.. This is why, Sansa, I do not think you are ready for this."

He was looking at her, on her chair, as she was staring at the window behind her. Avoiding his gaze. 

"I am. And I will."

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THIS IS NOT TURNING INTO A 50 SHADES OF SHIT BDSM THING   
> BREATHE  
> BREATHE


	5. Entracte

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know it's been a long time since I wrote the last chapter but I'm back!  
> This is very badly written chapter but good news is I am writing a longer better chapter etc. anyway thank you for reading

Everyday since their arrival in Highgarden, Willas had given Sansa music lessons. The life there was not as boring as she had thought, but still, there was in these people something she could not quite understand. There were all so kind, so careful with her. Every time she talked to Willas she felt that he was holding back all his emotions, fearing that he could break her with any word, any move.   
But how was she supposed to learn music if she was forced to live in a motionless environment? Was not music the art of subtitle motions and emotions? She had always wanted to tell Willas "No. Do not. Reveal yourself to me. If I have to let go my armor when I am with you, it is not to face the shield you create around you, to prevent me from knowing you."   
They were a married couple, weren't they?   
Thus, one day, when the bells of Highgarden rang nine, the hour of her music lesson, Sansa left her room hoping that this day would be the day she could tell him. 

The music room was small, with just a ray of light coming from an high window, creating a gloomy atmosphere, an atmosphere perfect for secrets and lies. When Sansa entered the room Willas was already in it. Holding the viola in his left hand he was slowly playing with the strings, his legs opened, his back curved and his face closed. If someone had to guess what he could have thought in that moment, they would have said anger. Or fear.   
"Sansa. I have to tell you something."  
She was still at the door when he pronounced her name, but the cold tone of his voice made her run to his feet.   
"What do you have to tell me Willas? Please do not lie to me... Speak the truth."  
He did not even look at her.   
"I have no intention to lie. Sansa...I...I have met this woman a week ago..."  
She knew what would be his following words. And yet she stayed in front of him, motionless.   
"We both know that this situation, our situation is not...cannot last. Therefore I have decided to make this woman my mistress. Do not worry, Sansa. I will never insult you by showing her off in Highgarden, but I thought you needed to know."  
She had nothing to say.   
"Oh. Very well."  
At last he turned his face to her, relieved.   
"Well then... Let's play music!"


	6. Abstraction

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> When you see "*" click on it! It's a link to listen to the music they play :)  
> I had written a longer chapter but I did a bad move and a major part of it disappeared!! Since I'm a bit angry I won't REwrite the second part before a few hours, so here is for you the first part of this chapter! Hope you will enjoy it :)

**[*](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ydudrOGACTY)**  They were now playing viola together, a light music called "Pleasantry". Willas was staring at his instrument: despite its name, the melody was a complex and subtile one, and in these moments only the viola mattered, his world would revolve around the musical volutes he created. Sansa, behind him, was also staring at her fingers. However her mind could only think about what her husband had told her. Did she feel jealous? No. She could understand her husband, she had not slept with him in weeks, and the only moments they shared were the music lessons he gave her.

No.

She could not accept it.

Her mother and her father had always been there for the other, they had made a loving couple, why could not she and Willas be like them? Maybe she had not tried hard enough. Maybe she had expected too much of him, too soon. Yes, she would try again, she would speak to him one last time. 

But when?

When she would have found the right words, the ones to soothe him. 

Oh no. She knew what she would do. She would compose a music for him. Then he would understand what she had tried to tell him. 

"Sansa, focus. Give me your hand."

Saying these words Willas had turned to her. His eyes were dark and he was shaking. 

"Yes... But, are you cold? Do you need me to call the handmaiden?"

"No, no, no... Do not worry. Come, I will play with you."

He was now behind her, his arms embracing hers, his left hand with hers, his right hand with hers. She could feel it even more now, he was shaking with her. And with her he started to play again. She could feel his breath in her neck, the slow motions of his back against hers... He was not only playing music, thought she, we were creating music. Together the notes had become clearer. The grey sky of loneliness was now filled by lightnings.

* * *

 


	7. First wonder

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> SUUUUUUUPER SHORT CHAPTER I KNOW - Anyway I'll try posting chapters (even if they are really short) every day...  
> Don't forget to click on the "*"  
> You can also follow me on TheWildWaters.tumblr.com to ask me prompts etc etc

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You can also follow me on TheWildWaters.tumblr.com to ask me prompts etc etc

[*](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7uE230evv3w&list=RDydudrOGACTY) "Oh sister! My dear Sansa!” She had told Margaery everything: the music lessons, Willas.

And his “revelation”.

"No Margaery, there is no need for laments. How could I blame him? We have not…well…for weeks. We barely speak to each other."

"And yet Sansa, I know that you are hiding something from me. Please do not be afraid of me, I would never betray you. Don’t you think it is time we let go all the lies and unspokens behind us?"

There were sitting in one of the many gardens of Highgarden, but this one was Sansa’s favorite. It was filled with white flowers and in the center was a small pond. Sometimes when the weather was allowing it, she liked to dip her feet in the water. It was a small garden, yes, but hidden.

"Oh Margaery, Willas is nice but he does not talk to me. He hides himself from me, he does not talk about his feelings or…anything actually. I like him, Margaery. I know that I do not love him yet, but I know I could. Of course there is this woman now. I do not even know her name or her age. Have you heard about her?"

"Yes I have. My _friends_ told me about her. Her name is Elisepha, she is 23 and she comes from the Vale. Apparently, she knew him before your wedding. But don’t worry sister. I will help you. I will talk to him, Sansa. I promise.”

"Thank you."

Hearing those last words, Margaery put a kiss on Sansa’s forehead and left the small garden. 


	8. Second wonder

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hehe two songs in this chapter, the first is very well known but I put the link anyway. The second is at the end: I put two links, the song itself and the translation I made (it's in french) DO NOT FORGET TO CLICK ON THE "*"

"No do not remove your clothes"

Sansa was going back to her bedroom when she heard Willas’ voice. She had forgotten that she was in front of his apartments. But he was not alone. Would she dare listening to them? The door was open. Sansa could see that curtains were separating his bedroom to the rest of the room. The temptation was too great. If she could hear what he was telling her, maybe she could learn more about him. She knew it was forbidden, it was not the behavior a lady should have.

And yet, she needed to know. Sansa leaned to the curtains, hiding herself in the shadows, from there she could see Willas’ back. And the woman.

Elisepha was beautiful. She had hidden her brown hair in braids under a green veil and her face was surrounded by jewels: white earrings and a red necklace matching her lips. She had dark blue eyes. When she closed her eyes, Sansa thought, her face was different, as if her eyes did not belong to her but to someone else. Two different faces. Two beautiful faces. She was wearing a red dress, lace covering her breasts and her arms naked.

A glorious woman.

“Well then, what am I doing here?”

Then she understood why Willas was fond of her. This soprano voice, sweet and warm, she was speaking or she was singing. Her husband was an aesthete.

“You know why. But my leg hurts, I do no think I will be able to do anything tonight. I will even need help to lie down on my bed.”

He was sitting on a chair, next to her.

“Come on. I will help you.”

Elisepha leaned her hand to him and helped him reaching his bed. She lay him down carefully. There was love in all her moves.

_**[*](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N6ODMKSWzT4)** “Lay, lady, lay, lay across my big brass bed _

_Lay, lady, lay, lay across my big brass bed_

_Whatever colors you have in your mind_

_I’ll show them to you and you’ll see them shine…”_

Now she was singing and he was smiling. Oh they were so beautiful and looked so loving together.

“We will sleep together tonight. And tomorrow. At noon or midnight. We will sleep together.”

“Ah!”

The cry came from the curtains.

“Who is here? Show yourself!”

Oh no. No no no no.

_I am brave, I am brave, I am brave._

Sansa came out of the shadows and walked to reach the bed.

 

“I am sorry, I just came here to wish you a good night and… I will not disturb you any longer.”

It was not Willas who talked then. It was Elisepha.

“Do not apologize, you are his wife, it is normal for you to come here. Anyway I was thinking about doing something, would you like to help me?”

Sansa stared in shock.

“What? I…I am not….”

Her husband’s lover bursted into laughter.

“No! No! I was thinking about singing! He said you had a lovely voice, we could sing together, is there a song you wished to sing?”

Sansa smiled and said: “Yes I do. Do you know I have come from a long way?”

* * *

 

_**[*](http://www.writeurl.com/publish/vtxmtfkkkjhf9i25gh63)**   **[*](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0uyjm8ZFTsc)** I thought I would never see _

_The color of the sea, at night_

_I have come a long way_

_I have come a long way_

_I have come a long way_

_If you do not believe me,_

_Ask my guardian angel_

**Author's Note:**

> Feedback is very appreciated :)
> 
>  
> 
> As usual, sorry for everything this is bad etc etc  
> I know I like to focus on the character's thoughts and it's difficult to read/understand. Hope it wasn't too unpleasant. If it was please accept my apologizes.


End file.
